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• How far can a dog run into a forest?
  Half way, the other half he is running out.
• How many birthdays does an average man have?
  One a year.
• Why can't a man living in Oxford be buried east of Ipswich?
  Because he is still alive!
• If you only have one match left in the box and entered a room which had a paraffin lamp, a gas ring and a fuel stove, what would you light first?
  The match.
• Some months have 31 days, some have 30 days. How many have 28 days?
  All of them.
• A man has a house with four sides to it. It is rectangular in shape. Each side has a southerly aspect. A big bear comes wondering by. What colour is it?
  White. ( The house is on the North Pole )
• I have in my hands two coins totalling 15p. One is NOT a 5p piece. Please remember that. What are they.
  5p & 10p
• A farmer had 17 sheep. All but nine died. How many did he have left?
  9
• Dived 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
  70
• An archaeologist found two coins with the date 46BC on them. Could they be genuine?
  No
• A woman gives a beggar 20p. The woman is the beggars sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How is this?
  The beggar is a sister.
• Is it legal in Britain for a man to marry his widows sister?
  No, he is dead!
• Some ducks are swimming in line. There is a duck in front of two ducks, a duck behind two ducks and a duck between two ducks. How many ducks are there?
  3
• If three cats killed three rats in three minutes, how long would it take for one hundred cats to kill one hundred rats?
  3 minutes
• The number of eggs in a basket doubles every minute. It was full after 60 minutes. When was it half full?
  59 minutes.
• Two fathers and two sons each shot a duck. None of them shot the same duck. One three ducks were shot. How is this?
  Grand-father, Father and Son.