Cockney Slang

I may never have heard the sound of Bow Bells myself, but my look-a-like, Mike, was a Londoner, born & bred
(leastways, that what he tells me!).

Abergavenny Penny
Acker Bilk Milk
Adam and Eve Believe
Adam's (Adam Ants) Pants
Airs and Graces Faces
Alan Border Out of Order
Alan Whickers Knickers
All Night Rave Shave
All Time Loser Boozer
Almond Rocks Socks
Alphonse Ponce
Ancient Greek Reek
Andy Cain Rain
'appeny dip Ship
Apple Core Score
Apple Fritter Bitter
Apples and Pears Stairs
April Fools Football Pools
Archer 2000
Aris Arse
Aristotle Bottle
Army and Navy Gravy
Artful Dodger Lodger
Arthur Bliss Piss
Arthur Scargill Gargle (drink)
Aryton Senna Tenner
Ascot Races Braces
Auntie Lily Silly
Bacon and Eggs Legs
Bag (of sand) 1000
Bag of Fruit Suit
Bag of Yeast Priest
Baked Bean Queen (Elizabeth II)
Baked Potata See ya later
Baker's Dozen Cousin
Bale of Straw Raw
Ball and Chalk Walk
Band of Hope Soap
Bangers and Mash Cash
Barclays Bank Wank
Barnaby Rudge Judge
Barnacle Bills Testicles
Barnet Fair Hair
Barney Marlin M'Darlin
Barney Rubble Trouble
Barry Crocker Shocker
Barry White Shite
Basil (Fawlty) Balti
Bat and Wicket Ticket
Battle Cruiser Boozer (bar)
Bazaar Bar
Bed and Breakfast 26
Bees and Honey Money
Bee's Knees Business
Ben Cartwright Shite
Bended (knees) Cheese
Bernard Matthew Queue
Bernie Flint Skint
Bernie Winter Printer
Big Dippers Slippers
Bird Lime Time
Biscuit (and Cookie) Rookie
Biscuits and Cheese Knees
Bo Peep Sleep
Boat Race Face
Bob 1 Shilling (5 pence)
Bob Hope Dope
Bob Hope Soap
Bob Squash Wash
Bobby (Moore) Sure
Bobby Moore Score
Borassic Lint Skint
Boris (the bold) Cold
Born and Bred Bed
Bottle and Glass Arse
Bottle and Glass Class
Bottle and Stopper Copper
Bottle of Glue 2
Bottle of porter Daughter
Bottle Stopper Copper
Boutrous (Boutrous Gali) Charlie (cocaine)
Bow and Arrow Barrow
Brad Pitt Shit
Brahms and Liszt Pissed
Brass Tacks Facts
Brassic (Boracic Lint) Skint
Bread and Honey Money
Bread knife Wife
Brian (Clough) Rough
Bricks and Mortar Daughter
Brigham Young Tongue
Bright and Breezy Easy
Bristols (Cities) Titties
British Rail Mail
Britney Spears Beers
Brixton Riot Diet
Bromley by bow's Toes
Brown Bread Dead
Brussel Sprout Shout
Bubble and Squeak Greek
Bubble bath Laugh
Bugle Nose
Bugs Bunny Money
Burnt Cinder Window
Bushel and Peck Neck
Buster Keaton Meeting
Butcher's Hook Look
Cab rank Bank
Cadbury's (snack) Back
Cain and Abel Table
Callards Trousers
Cambridge and Oxford Ugly Face
Canary Fairy (Gay)
Canoes Shoes
Captain Cook Book
Captain Cook Look
Captain Hook Book
Captain Kirk Work
Cardboard Box Pox
Carpet 3
Cash and Carried Married
Cash and Carry Marry
Cat and Cages Wages
Cat and Dog Bog (Toilet)
Cat and Mouse House
Century 100
Chalfonts (St. Giles) Piles
Chalk Farm Arm
Charing Cross Horse
Charlie (Chan) Tan
Charlie Brown Clown
Charlie Dicken Chicken
Charlie Hunt Cunt (Fool)
Charlie Nash Slash
Charlie Pride Ride
Charlie Ronce Ponce
Chas 'n' Dave Shave
Cheese and Rice Jesus Christ
Cheese rind Four of a Kind
Cheesey quaver Favour
Chevy Chase Face
Chicken and Rice Nice
Chicken Oriental Mental
Chicker Haircut
China Plate Mate
Ching 5
Chipmunks Trunks
Chocolate (fudge) Judge
Christian Slater Later
Christmas crackered Knackered
Cilla (Black) Back
Claires (Raynor) Trainers
Claret (red wine) Blood
Cobbler's (Awls) Balls
Cockle Tenner
Cockle and Hen 10
Cockle and Mussells Brussells (sprouts)
Colonel Gadaffi Cafe
Cozzer's Cops
Cream cookies Bookies
Cream Crackered Knackered
Crown Jewels Tools
Currant Bun Sun
Custard and Jelly Telly
Daisy Roots Boots
Dancing Fleas Keys
Danny La Rue Clue
Danny Marr Car (flash one)
Darby and Joan Moan
Darling Daughter Water
David Bowie Blowy (Windy)
David Gower Shower
David Mellors Stellas (beers)
Day's Work 100
Dead Horse Tomato Sauce
Dead Loss Boss
Deaf and Dumb Bum
Deep Sea Diver Fiver
Deep sea glider Cider
Derby Kelly Belly
Desmond Hackett Jacket
Desperate Dan Suntan
Dicky Bird Word
Dicky Dirt Shirt
Dig the Grave Shave
Ding Dong Bell Hell
Dinky Doos Shoes
Dixie Deans Jeans
Dog and Bone Phone
Dog's Eye Meat Pie
Donald Duck F**k
Donald Trump Dump
Dorothy Squires Tyres
Dot and Dash Cash
Doug McClure Whore
Douglas Hurd Turd
D'Oyly Carte Fart
Drip Dry Cry
Drum and Bass Face
Drum and Fife Knife
Drummond and Roce Knife and Fork
Duane Eddies Readies (cash)
Duchess of Fife Wife
Duck and Dive Skive
Duck's Arse Grass (Informant)
Dudley Moores Sores
Duke of Argyles Piles
Duke of Kent Rent
Dunkirk Work
Dunlop tyre Liar
Dustbin Lid Kid
Eartha Kitt Shit
Earwig Twig
East and West Vest
Eddie Grundies Undies
Edgar Alan (Poe) Tow
Edinburgh Fringe Minge
Egg Yoke Joke
Eiffel (Tower) Shower
Elephant and Castle Arsehole
Elephant's Trunk Drunk
Elsie Tanner Spanner
Emma Freud Haemorrhoid
Errol Flynn Chin
Evening Breeze Cheese
Everton Toffee Coffee
Eyes of Blue True
Family Tree Lavatory
Fanny Blair Hair
Fanny Hill Pill (Contraceptive)
Far East Priest
Farmer Giles Piles
Farmer's Daughter Quarter
Fat and Wide Bride
Father Ted Dead
Feathers 33
Fiddle De Dee Pee / Wee
Fine and Dandy Brandy
Finsbury (park) Mark
First Aid Kits Tits
Fish and Chips Tips (Gratuities)
Flight Lieutenant Biggles Giggles
Flowers and Frolics Bollocks
Flowery Dell Cell
Foot pump Dump
Fore and Aft Daft
Forest (Gump) Dump
Fork and Knife Wife
Forsyte Saga Lager
Four by Two Jew
Four Seasons Reasons
Francis Drakes Brakes
Frank Bough Off
Frankie Howard Coward
Frankie Vaughan Prawn
Fred Astaire Hair
Fred McMurrays Worries
French Kiss Piss (Urinate)
Fridge Freezer Geezer
Frog and Toad Road
Frying Pan Fan
Fug(ly) Ugly
Garden Gate Mate
Gary Glitter Shitter (arse)
Gathers Cops
Gay and Friskey Whiskey
Gay Gordon Parking Warden
General Election Erection
Geoff (Hurst) Thirst
Geoffrey Chaucer Saucer
George Bernard Shaw Door
George Raft Draught (Draft)
Georgie Bests Breasts
German Bands Hands
Ginger Ale Jail
Ginger Beer Queer
Girls and Boys Noise
Glasgow Ranger Stranger
Glass of Plonk Conk (Nose)
Glenn Hoddle Doddle (Simple Task)
Gobstopper Chopper (Penis)
God Forbid Kid
Gold Watch Scotch
Goose's (Neck) Cheque
Grand 1000
Grass (in the Park) Nark
Grasshopper Copper
Gravy lumps Dumps
Green (eggs and ham) Exam
Gregory Peck Cheque
Gregory Peck Neck
Gypsy's (Kiss) Piss
Haddock and Bloater Motor
Hair Gel Bell
Hairy knees Please
Half a Gross Dose
Half Inch Pinch (to steal)
Ham and Cheesy Easy
Ham Shanks Yanks
Hammer and Tack Back
Hampstead Heath Teeth
Hampton Wick Prick
Hank Marvin Starvin
Harold Wilson's Stilsons (Pipe Wrenches)
Harry Dash Flash
Harry Lin Chin
Harry Monk Spunk
Hay (Stack) Back
Henry Moore Door
Herring bone Phone
Hey Diddle Diddle Middle
Highland Fling Ring
Hillman Hunters Punters
Hit and Miss Piss
Holy Ghost Racing Post
Holy Ghost Toast
Horse and Cart Fart
Horse and Cart Heart
Hot Cross Bun Nun
Hot Cross Bun Son
How's your father? Lather
I Suppose Nose
Ice cream freezer
Irish Jig Wig
Iron Hoof Pouf
Iron tank Bank
Isle of Wight Light
Itch and Scratch Match
Itchy Teeth Beef
Ivory Band Hand
J. Arthur Rank Wank
Jack (Jones) Alone
Jack (Tar) Bar
Jack (the Ripper) Kipper
Jack an' Dandy Handy
Jack and Jill Hill
Jack and Jill Pay the Bill
Jack and Jill Pill
Jack Jones Own
Jack 'n' Danny Fanny
Jack Palance Dance
Jackanory Story
Jack's (Alive) 5
Jackson Pollocks Bollocks
Jam Jar Car
Jam Tart Heart
Jekyll and Hyde's Strides (trousers)
Jerry (Cottle) Bottle
Jimmy (Riddle) Piddle
Jimmy Hill Pill
Jimmy Nail Hell
Jimmy Orner Corner
Jimmy Riddle Piddle (Urinate)
Joanna Piano
Jockeys (Whips) Chips
Jockey's whip Kip
Joderall Banker Wanker
Joe (Baxi) Taxi
Joe Blake Snake
Joe Blake Steak
Joe Brown Town
John Cleese Cheese
John Major Pager
John Major Wager (bet)
John Skinner Dinner
John Wayne Train
Johnny Horner Corner
Kate Steak
Kate (Carney) Army
Kate Mossed It Lost It
Ken Smee Pee
Kettle Watch
Khyber Pass Arse
Kick and Prance Dance
Kingdom Come Bum
Kippers Slippers
Kitchen Sink Drink
Kuwaity Tanker Wanker
Lady from Bristol Pistol
Lady Godiva Fiver (Five Pounds)
Lager and Lime Spine
Lar-de-dah Cigar
Laugh and a Jole Smoke
Laugh and Titter Bitter (Beer)
Legs 11
Lemon (Curd) Girlfriend
Lemon and Lime Crime
Lemon Squeesy Easy
Lemon Squeezer Geezer
Leo Sayer All dayer
Lesley Crowthers Trousers
Lester Piggot Bigot
Light and bitter Shitter
Lilley and Skinner Dinner
Lillian Gish Pish
Linen Draper Paper
Lionel Blair (Night)mare
Lionels (Blair) Flares
Little and Large Marge
Loaf of Bread Head
Long Un 100
Longers and Lingers Fingers
Loop the Loop Soup
Lord Lovel Shovel
Lords and Peers Ears
Love and Kisses Mrs.
L-Rig Girl
Mae West Best
Man on the Moon Spoon
Mark Ramprakash Slash
Mars Bar Scar
Master McGrath Bra
Melvyn Bragged Shagged
Merchant Banker Wanker
Merlyn Rees Peice (lunch)
metric miles Piles
Michael Miles Piles
Mickey Most Toast
Mickey Rourke Pork
Milton Keynes Jeans
Minces (Mince Pies) Eyes
Moby Dick Sick
Monkey 500
Monkey (Wrench) Wench
Mork and Mindy Windy
Mother Hubbard Cupboard
Mother of Pearl Girl
Mozambique Keek
Murray mint
Mutt and Jeff Deaf
Mutter and Stutter Butter
Mystic Meg Leg
Nails and Tacks Fax
Nanny Goat Boat
Nanny Goat Coat
Nanny Goat Throat
Nat King Cole Dole
Natter Chat
Nelson (Mandella) Stella
Nelson Eddies Reddies
Nervo 9
Nervous Wreck Cheque
Neves 7
Niagara falls Balls
Niffty 50
Nightboat to Cairo Giro
Noah's Ark Lark
Noah's Ark Shark
North and South Mouth
Nuclear Sub Pub
Nuns 'n Habits Rabbits
Nuremberg Trials Piles
Ocean Going Squid Quid
Ocean Pearl Girl
Oily Rag Fag (Cigarette)
Okey Doke Poke
Old Pot And Pan Husband
Omar Sharif Grief
One Time Looker Hooker
Ones and Twos Shoes
Orchestra Stalls Balls
Oxford Scholar Dollar
Oxo cube Tube (underground)
Pam Shriver Fiver
Paraffin Lamp Tramp
Pat and Mick Sick
Pat Malone Alone
Paul McKenna Tenner
Paul Weller Stella (Pint of)
Pearly Queen Seen
Peas in the pot (Peasy) Hot
Peckham Rye Tie
Peddle and Crank Wank
Pen and Ink Stink
Pete Tong Wrong
Peter Pan Tan
Petrol (Tanks) Yanks
Philharmonic Gin and Tonic
Pie and Liquor Vicar
Pie and Mash Slash
Pig's Ear Beer
Pimple 'n' blotch Scotch (whiskey)
Pineapple Chapel
Pineapple Chunk Bunk
Ping Pong Strong
Pinky and Perky Turkey
Pistol Lady of Bristol
Pittsburgh Steelers Peelers (police)
Plates and Dishes Misses
Plates of Meat Feet
Plimsoll Mark Park
Plink Plonk
Polo (Mint) Bint
Pony 25
Pony and Trap Crap
Pork Chops Pigs (Police)
Porky Pies Lies
Pot (of Glue) Clue
Pot and Pan Old man (husband)
Prison Time Bird (Lime)
Queen mum Bum
Quid Pounds (currency)
Rabbit and Pork Talk
Radio Rental Mental
Raspberry Ripple Cripple
Raspberry Tart Fart
Razor Blazer
Rhythm and Blues Shoes
Richard The 3rd Turd
Ricki Lake Fake
Rifle Range Change
Roast Pork Fork
Roath 4
Rocking Horse Sauce
Rock'n'Roll Dole
Roger Moore Door
Roger Nellie Telly
Roller Coaster Toaster
Ronald Riches Bitches
Ronnie Barker Marker (pen)
Roof Rack Back
Rory O'Moore Floor
Rosie Lee Tea
Rouf Cinque 45
Round the Houses Trousers
Roy Hudd's Spuds
Rub a dub dub Pub
Rubber Dub Sub
Rubber Duck Cook
Rubber Glove Love
Ruby Murray Curry
Rum and Coke Joke
Russel Harty Party
Rusty Nail Jail
Salmon (and trout) Snout (cigarette)
Salvador Dali Drink
Sandshoe Thank
Santa's Grotto Blotto (drunk)
Saucepan Handle Candle
Saucepan Lid Kid
Sausage and Mash Cash
Sausage Roll Goal
Schindler's List Pissed
Scooby (Do) Clue
Score 20
Scotch Pegs (Scotches) Legs
Scratch yer head (Scratcher) Bed
Screaming Alice Crystal Palace
Screw Prison Officer
Septic (Tank) Yank
Sexton Blake Fake
Shake and Shiver River
Shawshank (Redemption) Pension
Sherbert (Dab) Cab
Sherman Tank Yank
Shovel and Pick Nick
Skin and Blister Sister
Sky Rocket Pocket
Slits in a Dress Mess
Snout Cigarette
Snout Informant
Snow and Slush Flush
Sock and Blister Sister
Son 'n Daughter'd Slaughtered
Sovs Pounds (currency)
Spanish Archer Elbow
Stand at Ease Cheese
Steffi (Graff) Laugh
Stench Dame Judy (Dench)
Stevey Bould Cold
Stoke on Trent Bent
Strange'n'Weird Beard
Strawberry Rhone Phone
Sweaty Sock Scot
Sweeny Todd Flying Squad (Police)
Sydney Kidney
Syrup (of Fig) Wig
T and H 8
Taters (in the Mould) Cold
Tea Leaf Thief
Tea Leafing Thieving
This and That Cat
Thrupenny Bits Tits
Tick Tock
Tiddlywink Drink
Tilbury Docks Socks
Tin Bath Laugh
Tin Tack Sack
Tit For Tat (titfer) Hat
Todd Sloane On your own
Tom and Dick Sick
Tom Foolery Jewellery
Tom Mix 6
Tom Tank Wank
Tom Tit Shit
Tommy Tucker Supper
Ton 100
Tony Blair Hair
Tony Slattery Battery
Top Hat Chat
Town Halls Balls
Tramp (on a bench) Wench
Trombone Phone
Trouble and Strife Wife
Tumble down the sink Drink
Turkish (Bath) Laugh
Turkish Delight Shite
Turtle doves Gloves
Twist and Twirl Girl
Two and Eight State
Two Bob Bit Shit
Two Fat Ladies 88
Two Little Ducks 22
Uncle Bert Shirt
Uncle Billy Chilly
Uncle Ned Bed
Uncle Ned Head
Uncle Reg Veg
Uncle Ted Bed
Vera Lynn Gin
Veras (Vera Lynn) Cigarette papers (Skins)
Vincent (Price) Ice
Von Trappe Crap
Wallace and Grommit Vomit
Weasel and Stoat Coat
Weeping Willow Pillow
West Ham Reserves Nerves
Weston (Super Mare) Nightmare
Whiskey (and soda) Voda (mobile phone)
Whistle and Flute Suit
White Mice Ice
Widow Twanky Hanky
Wobbly Jelly Telly
Wooden Plank Yank
Wooly Hat (and scarf) Laugh
You Must Crust
You're having a Giraffe Laugh
Yuri Geller Stella (the beer)