|
| Sign In A Laundromat: |
Automatic Washing Machines: Please Remove All Your Clothes When The Light Goes
Out |
|
| Sign In A London Department Store: |
Bargain Basement Upstairs |
|
| In An Office: |
Would The Person Who Took The Step Ladder Yesterday Please Bring It Back Or
Further Steps Will Be Taken |
|
| In An Office: |
After Tea Break Staff Should Empty The Teapot And Stand Upside Down On The
Draining Board |
|
| On A Church Door: |
This Is The Gate Of Heaven. Enter Ye All By This Door. (This Door Is Kept Locked
Because Of The Draft. Please Use Side Door.) |
|
| Outside A Second-Hand Shop: |
We Exchange Anything - Bicycles, Washing Machines Etc. Why Not Bring Your Wife
Along And Get A Wonderful Bargain? |
|
| Sign Outside A New Town Hall Which Was To Be Opened By The Prince Of Wales: |
The Town Hall Is Closed Until Opening. It Will Remain Closed After Being Opened.
Open Tomorrow. |
|
| Outside A Photographer's Studio: |
Out To Lunch: If Not Back By Five, Out For Dinner Also |
|
| Outside A Disco: |
Smarts Is The Most Exclusive Disco In Town. Everyone Welcome |
|
| Sign Warning Of Quicksand: |
Quicksand. Any Person Passing This Point Will Be Drowned. By Order Of The
District Council |
|
| Notice Sent To Residents Of A Wiltshire Parish: |
Due To Increasing Problems With Letter Louts And Vandals We Must Ask Anyone With
Relatives Buried In The Graveyard To Do Their Best To Keep Them In Order |
|
| Notice In A Dry Cleaner's Window: |
Anyone Leaving Their Garments Here For More Than 30 Days Will Be Disposed
Of |
|
| Sign On Motorway Garage: |
Please Do Not Smoke Near Our Petrol Pumps. Your Life May Not Be Worth Much But
Our Petrol Is |
|
| Notice In Health Food Shop Window: |
Closed Due To Illness |
|
| Spotted In A Safari Park: |
Elephants Please Stay In Your Car |
|
| Notice In A Field: |
The Farmer Allows Walkers To Cross The Field For Free, But The Bull Charges |
|
| Sign On A Repair Shop Door: |
We Can Repair Anything. (Please Knock Hard On The Door - The Bell Doesn't
Work) |
|
| Spotted In A Toilet In A London Office Block: |
Toilet Out Of Order. Please Use Floor Below |
|
| Sign In Egyptian Hotel: |
If You Require Room Service, Please Open Door And Shout, "Room
Service!" |
|
